I've been focusing on my health this year, shedding some bad habits around food and alcohol, getting back to the gym regularly, losing some weight... I have a lot of clothes in smaller sizes that I can't wear yet, which is a supreme annoyance for someone who travels as much as I do. So I gave myself the ultimatum that I figure out how to fit into the them by the end of the year or I get rid of them. It's all working. My habits are changing, I am losing weight. But in the process I'm realizing that even when I do wear these clothes again, I won't ever look the same as I did 2 years ago or 5 years ago or 10 years ago. That's a hard realization some days. There are a lot of things I like about getting older but I just wish I LOOKED younger without actually being younger. Is that too much to ask??? It is. I know. So this one is for all you other hot old ladies out there who are also going through it. May your asses stay forgetful as long as possible! And Happy Sunday
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Sometimes you gotta choose what 50% you wanna work ;) Happy Fri(Boob)day everyone!
It's been a chilly rainy May up in these parts. And while I love it, I'm dreaming of sun and bathing suits and the beach. Soon... Meanwhile, here's to dreamy days and sticky nights. The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. — Friedrich Nietzsche
I got a massage yesterday and the masseuse asked me if I "struggle to relax." I was like "girl, you have no idea." My current dark side, or an element of it, is my extreme discomfort in my current life. I made a huge necessary career shift including a cross country move and it's been so much. I can see why people do this in their 20s when they're completely unsettled and they don't give AF about anything. In those times (and I remember them vividly) everything is crazy and unsettled so it's all ok. In my 20's I could get drunk, have a hangover and get over it. I could gain 10lb, go on an insane crash diet and lose it all in a week. I could work jobs for no money, live off of ramen noodles and turn the heat off in my apartment when I couldn't pay the bills. It was all ok. I simply didn't know any better In my 40s, on the other hand, I'm SO IMPATIENT with this learning process! I gave up a really well paying job and a cool lifestyle to take this job. I don't regret the decision because it will lead me to other things that I want but right now it's a major step down. Especially financially. I'm now back to some of my 20's lifestyle, the working for no money part particularly, but without the metabolism or the alcohol tolerance. Essentially, I'm living an uncomfortable life and searching for coping mechanisms. But like... cheap ones. Gah. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's a first world problem if there ever was one. Plus it's a completely voluntary life change so I have no one to blame but myself. But still...
I'm taking this sentiment into my week and trying to just put my head down, do the work and not search for answers to questions I'm not sure how to ask, never mind process the answers. It's tough knowing that the time isn't right for something. It's tough to feel like everything will always take forever and never arrive. It's tough to see things moving at such a glacial pace that it seems they're not moving at all. But I know that I'll turn around at the end of this summer and see progress, see accomplishments, see the way that the incremental work has piled up... as long as I actually keep doing the work even when it doesn't seem to make any difference. Coffee helps. Have a good Monday everyone. XOX
I have a desire for so many things right now. I feel like this picture, with my focus on something beyond me, in the endless distance. Progress is slow. Patience is everything... Sigh. Happy Sunday It's been a minute since I've been here. That's largely because I've moved across the country and started a new job and it's taken me all month to begin to get settled. I'm not there yet... It's a big adjustment. A good one, overall, but it's a lot of change and it hasn't lent itself to a quiet creative mindset. However, it's now June! Hyacinth is again doing her Every Damn Day in June challenge and I am again going to participate. Perhaps all month. Perhaps as much as I am able. We shall see. Last year I set myself the additional parameters of Naked June wherein I mused on nakedness and nudity via quotes and pictures. This year I may not set extra parameters on my posts but I do want to play around with black and white images. Perhaps not exclusively but more so. We shall see how that goes as well. Tomorrow is the fifth voting round of the Smut Marathon so I thought I'd share my entry for round #4. The prompt was "Eavesdropping." Show Time Balanced on a thin brick edge, the assassin flattened his body against the building. He curled his gloved fingers into the window frame and slowly pulled himself alongside the window, peeking into the candlelit room. The target kneeled on the floor, his round belly sagging over a pair of pink satin knickers. A tall woman in tall boots stood over him holding a wooden cane. As she stroked the smooth wood the assassin admired her leather gloves, so finely made and beautifully fit. The target began to lick the woman’s boots, saliva drooling over the black leather. The muscles in her arm bunched and her cane whistled through air, slashing a long red line across his shoulders. He gasped and arched and the assassin saw the round bulge in his knickers. The woman pushed the target’s head back to her boots, holding him still as he quivered. She unleashed a few more strokes, creating a neat parallel pattern. The assassin whistled silently. This girl had quite the swing. Maybe she used to play baseball? The target’s hand reached for his bulge and the woman pushed him onto his back, grinding her boot heel into his crotch and slicing a red line across his chest as he whimpered. The assassin recognized her fierce grin, full of joy and bloodlust. He had that same grin! Maybe he could take her for coffee afterwards and apologize for interrupting? Ok, back to work. He pressed a button and the window glass splintered. ___________________________ See you tomorrow. Muah! |
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