The Satisfier Pro Penguin Review

Sex toys reviews are a little out of my wheelhouse but I got this Satisfier Pro Penguin toy from Jack and Jill in return for an unbiased review.

This little guy is marketed as a clit sucker/oral suction toy, which, as any woman knows, is going to be a dicey proposition since all women like different kinds of suction on their clitorises. And some don't like any at all, but those women won't be trying this toy out. I do like suction but my clit is also really sensitive to the wrong kinds of attention so I wasn't sure how I would feel about a mechanical toy sucking away. Or even how that would feel. 

That said, let's start with the pros:

It's hella cute. 

 
Here he is with some flowers and left over Valentine's day candy and come on! He's adorable with that little bow tie! His "mouth" is also a reasonable size and quite deep with the mechanical bit all the way in the back. I can put my little finger all the way in to the second knuckle, which gives quite a bit of flexibility as to how deeply you want him to play with you. His ergonomic shape and size is perfect for my hand and the on/off buttons are clearly located on his tummy.

However, I couldn't figure the buttons out. After playing around I could turn him on but I couldn't figure out how to increase the speed. I actually had to read the instructions, which I've never had to do with any other vibrator and that's the first in my con list because I need the basic functions of my toys to be intuitive. Plus it helps if they're designed like other toys I've had. Based on other toys I've had, I instinctively wanted to turn this toy on by pressing the top part of the button and then increase the speed the same way, Like press the button and then hold it down until it was at the right speed and then reduce the speed and turn him off by pressing the bottom part of the button. But this toy is somewhat reversed. 

I finally turned this little guy on by pressing and then holding the bottom section of the button down for a couple seconds. And then unlike any other toy I've ever had, I read that I increase the speed  by tapping on the bottom/lower section of the button. But I had to learn to TAP the bottom button to increase the speed because if I held the bottom button down (like I kept doing), the toy turned off. The top part of the button only serves to decrease the speed I believe. 

I found the button design odd and I admit to getting quite frustrated when I couldn't just use it out of the box because I kept turning it off. That didn't get me off on the right foot in our relationship. 

Once I finally got the toy to work, I used it once and left it alone for a couple weeks and then used it again today. I had to recharge it in between so the charge doesn't last very long but the charger is a magnetic attachment on the bottom that's easy to use. You can see it featured on the box in the top picture.

The good part is that the motor has a chunky rumble that I like, unlike the high pitched buzzy ones that desensitize me, but the down side is that it's quite loud compared to other toys I have. Especially at high speeds. And as anyone with toys knows, there's no mistaking the sound of a vibrator for anything but what it is. Fortunately, I live most of my life in hotel rooms so no one cares but it might factor in if you have a regular life.

And the other down side for me is that it's not intense enough at low speeds and it's too intense at high speeds. I think it's all about having my clit inside that tube that is too much for me. This toy will make me cum but it's borderline painful when used as it's designed and I had to do a fair amount of experimenting to find a position that didn't hurt. I can safely say that it's just not a design that works for me but it certainly might for other people. 

As to logistics, the toy is made of silicone and it's easy to clean and it's waterproof. The manufacturer recommends using it with lube, which I didn't do, so maybe with lube and in the bathtub might be a fun time? i'll leave it other people to figure that out.

I want to thank Jack and Jill for giving me an opportunity to review this toy and apologize for how long it took me to do it! Febphotofest kinda took over my blog last month. 

All images are my own and no affiliate links have been used in this post.